A mini-rant and a fanfic
May. 24th, 2007 08:13 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
jailynnI really don't like complaining, but I am almost at wits end here. Nothing to do with anyone other than myself, but I'm still pissed off and edgy, and I know exactly why.
My sleep cycle is all screwed up. I know its my fault. I don't drive yet, and have no car ANYWAY, and no job at the moment. Hence, I'm cooped up in the house all day. Most of the time, I just sleep long. I can't wake myself up, and slip back into sleep if nothing sets me off to HAVE to get out of bed. Than I do whatever I need to do for the day, which is mostly some cleaning, folding clothes, or cooking dinner. HOWEVER, in the last 5 days, it royally has screwed itself up. I the last post, I stated most having slept for 24+ hours. Well, I slept over 12 hours after that, and yesterday, I woke up after 2. Well...I haven't been to sleep since. I'm going to try again in a little while to take a nap, but I have a feeling I won't be getting to sleep until tonihgt, and before I get lectured...YES, I HAVE TRIED to go to sleep. I love sleep. So not falling asleep easily is pissing me off. I'm irritated and restless, but for my own safety, and because we really can't afford hospital bills at the moment, I'm not going to try and exercise my way into exhaustion. NOt gonna happen. If I get some sleep, maybe I'll go out and run like an idiot to relieve some of this restlessness. On the other hand, that really long fanfic I'm reading? Yeah, I'm already on chapter 79/111. Kinda tells you how long I've been lingering around with nothing to do. I wanna cry, but THAT will just screw up my allergies.
I need a job, I guess. Or at least something constructive to do.
Like this! I did manage to bang out a little fanfic piece.
Title: The Right Words
Rating: G (It's fluff, sorta)
Pairing: Shinji x Kamio (could be seen as just Shinji x Kamio friendship, in a way)
Warning: None
Disclaimer: Konomi Takeshi's. NOt mine.
Summary: Shinji has a lot to say, but none of it is really important, and just fills space. However, for Kamio, he wants to find the right words to help him deal with his newfound leadership over Fudomine. (Takes place at the end of their second year)
I want to go to sleep.....
My sleep cycle is all screwed up. I know its my fault. I don't drive yet, and have no car ANYWAY, and no job at the moment. Hence, I'm cooped up in the house all day. Most of the time, I just sleep long. I can't wake myself up, and slip back into sleep if nothing sets me off to HAVE to get out of bed. Than I do whatever I need to do for the day, which is mostly some cleaning, folding clothes, or cooking dinner. HOWEVER, in the last 5 days, it royally has screwed itself up. I the last post, I stated most having slept for 24+ hours. Well, I slept over 12 hours after that, and yesterday, I woke up after 2. Well...I haven't been to sleep since. I'm going to try again in a little while to take a nap, but I have a feeling I won't be getting to sleep until tonihgt, and before I get lectured...YES, I HAVE TRIED to go to sleep. I love sleep. So not falling asleep easily is pissing me off. I'm irritated and restless, but for my own safety, and because we really can't afford hospital bills at the moment, I'm not going to try and exercise my way into exhaustion. NOt gonna happen. If I get some sleep, maybe I'll go out and run like an idiot to relieve some of this restlessness. On the other hand, that really long fanfic I'm reading? Yeah, I'm already on chapter 79/111. Kinda tells you how long I've been lingering around with nothing to do. I wanna cry, but THAT will just screw up my allergies.
I need a job, I guess. Or at least something constructive to do.
Like this! I did manage to bang out a little fanfic piece.
Title: The Right Words
Rating: G (It's fluff, sorta)
Pairing: Shinji x Kamio (could be seen as just Shinji x Kamio friendship, in a way)
Warning: None
Disclaimer: Konomi Takeshi's. NOt mine.
Summary: Shinji has a lot to say, but none of it is really important, and just fills space. However, for Kamio, he wants to find the right words to help him deal with his newfound leadership over Fudomine. (Takes place at the end of their second year)
Ibu Shinji had never been one for words. Well…let’s rephrase that. He had never been one for words that actually mattered. If you need to just fill space with words of nothing than feel free to call him call him, he’s definitely qualified to help out. Don’t expect any deep meaning behind anything that spills from his mouth. That is why he was in such a predicament. His best friend since what felt like the beginning of time, Kamio Akira, looked like he needed the right words to lift him off the ground and ready to face the future. Shinji, of course, had no clue what to say to take the pressure off his best friends shoulders.
It was March, the end of their second year and the one person who gathered them together and rose them to where they were was graduating. Tachibana had passed the reins of control over to Kamio, his Vice Captain, and it was obvious Kamio was nervous about leaded the Tennis team. It was the end of the graduation ceremony, and the team had finished congratulating Tachibana, who was thusly whisked away by his family to go celebrate. The rest of the team had left, leaving behind Kamio and Shinji. The newly appointed captain plopped on the ground suddenly, sighing loudly.
“I don’t know what to do, Shinji. I’m no Tachibana-san. I have no clue how to lead this team…” Shinji hadn’t expect Kamio to start crying. “I’m scared I’ll waste Tachibana-san’s effort and all of this would have been for nothing. I don’t want to sully the good name Tachibana-san has built for this team.”
Shinji didn’t know what to say. He had all sorts of thoughts running through his already over-worked brain. How he thought Kamio was going to be a great Captain, and how he thought that Kamio’s passion was enough to drive this team to the Nationals, and how much he thought Kamio had improved over the year, and how much the new recruits they managed to scrounge up admired him, and how pretty he looked when he was crying and how much Shinji wanted to kiss him, and hold him, and give him all the strength in the world….
He looked at Kamio, who was sitting on the ground, not crying anymore, but deep in thought. “Ne…Shinji….do you think I’m up to this job…?”
Shinji stared at his friend. He saw the anxiety in Kamio’s eyes. He finally found some words that, when strung together, might actually help in this situation. “I don’t think that Tachibana-san would leave the team in incapable hands. I mean, you’ve grown along with this team, even more so then the rest of us, and plus, you were vice-captain. No one, maybe not even Tachibana-san, knows this team as well as you do.”
Shinji’s heart skipped a beat when Kamio smiled at his mumbled and long winded response. The Rhythm player stood up, dusting himself off. “I think that’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks, Shinji.”
Kamio flashed him a bright, exuberant smile, his anxiety washed away. “I’m sorry I started crying like that. I was anxious. I feel better now, thanks to you. Did you mean all that?”
Shinji felt himself smile reflexively. “Of course I did. I wouldn’t have said it is I didn’t mean it. I don’t like to waste my time saying things I don’t mean…”
Kamio laughed, a sweet sound that told Shinji that Kamio was indeed feeling back to normal. His laughter stopped after a minute, and he looked at his best friend with a determined look on his face. “Shinji….this year…let’s take Fudomine all the way to the top!”
Shinji nodded as they headed home. He looked at Kamio, wondering if now was a good time to tell his best friend exactly how he felt about him. He wondered if he could properly come up with the words to express how he felt. He wanted Kamio to know exactly how he felt, but at the same time, he didn’t feel that this was exactly the right time. So, instead of a love confession, Shinji said, “Yes, Akira is going to make a wonderful captain, and I’m sure Ishida will make an equally wonderful vice captain. I can only wonder why I wasn’t chosen for the vice captain spot. I thought I was Akira’s closest friend and I thought we made a good team, but apparently, Akira doesn’t feel the same…he must like Ishida a lot more than he likes me….”
Kamio blushed and cried, “No, I like you more, Shinji! It’s just that I think that Ishida would make a better vice captain because he’s well-versed in the rules and is a really good doubles player. It’s not that I don’t think you are capable, I just…I just….”
Shinji laughed. “You’re starting to sound like me. Maybe that’s a good enough reason for me not to be Vice captain. The other players would be confused with a pair of rambling mumblers as their leaders.” He took Kamio’s hand, lacing his fingers with his friend’s. “I’m behind you 100%, Captain. You won’t be leading this team all alone. Wasn’t this team built on the efforts of all of us after all? Isn’t that what Fudomine is all about?”
Kamio smiled softly. “You’re right. We’ll go to Nationals….together.” He squeezed Shinji’s hand gently as they continued to walk.
Shinji knew Kamio was going to be a great captain. He hoped he would be able to assist him throughout the whole year as he did today. He wanted Kamio to be happy, and hoped he would always be able to find the right words to bring a smile to his friend’s face. Especially if he could walk home hand-in-hand with him everyday. He couldn’t find the words to confess to Kamio right now, but he had a feeling that when he did find them, it would be at an awkward time, and come out mangled and jumbled. Words were funny like that.
For now, he would settle for walking home with Kamio, holding hands in comfortable silence. No words were needed.
It was March, the end of their second year and the one person who gathered them together and rose them to where they were was graduating. Tachibana had passed the reins of control over to Kamio, his Vice Captain, and it was obvious Kamio was nervous about leaded the Tennis team. It was the end of the graduation ceremony, and the team had finished congratulating Tachibana, who was thusly whisked away by his family to go celebrate. The rest of the team had left, leaving behind Kamio and Shinji. The newly appointed captain plopped on the ground suddenly, sighing loudly.
“I don’t know what to do, Shinji. I’m no Tachibana-san. I have no clue how to lead this team…” Shinji hadn’t expect Kamio to start crying. “I’m scared I’ll waste Tachibana-san’s effort and all of this would have been for nothing. I don’t want to sully the good name Tachibana-san has built for this team.”
Shinji didn’t know what to say. He had all sorts of thoughts running through his already over-worked brain. How he thought Kamio was going to be a great Captain, and how he thought that Kamio’s passion was enough to drive this team to the Nationals, and how much he thought Kamio had improved over the year, and how much the new recruits they managed to scrounge up admired him, and how pretty he looked when he was crying and how much Shinji wanted to kiss him, and hold him, and give him all the strength in the world….
He looked at Kamio, who was sitting on the ground, not crying anymore, but deep in thought. “Ne…Shinji….do you think I’m up to this job…?”
Shinji stared at his friend. He saw the anxiety in Kamio’s eyes. He finally found some words that, when strung together, might actually help in this situation. “I don’t think that Tachibana-san would leave the team in incapable hands. I mean, you’ve grown along with this team, even more so then the rest of us, and plus, you were vice-captain. No one, maybe not even Tachibana-san, knows this team as well as you do.”
Shinji’s heart skipped a beat when Kamio smiled at his mumbled and long winded response. The Rhythm player stood up, dusting himself off. “I think that’s exactly what I needed to hear. Thanks, Shinji.”
Kamio flashed him a bright, exuberant smile, his anxiety washed away. “I’m sorry I started crying like that. I was anxious. I feel better now, thanks to you. Did you mean all that?”
Shinji felt himself smile reflexively. “Of course I did. I wouldn’t have said it is I didn’t mean it. I don’t like to waste my time saying things I don’t mean…”
Kamio laughed, a sweet sound that told Shinji that Kamio was indeed feeling back to normal. His laughter stopped after a minute, and he looked at his best friend with a determined look on his face. “Shinji….this year…let’s take Fudomine all the way to the top!”
Shinji nodded as they headed home. He looked at Kamio, wondering if now was a good time to tell his best friend exactly how he felt about him. He wondered if he could properly come up with the words to express how he felt. He wanted Kamio to know exactly how he felt, but at the same time, he didn’t feel that this was exactly the right time. So, instead of a love confession, Shinji said, “Yes, Akira is going to make a wonderful captain, and I’m sure Ishida will make an equally wonderful vice captain. I can only wonder why I wasn’t chosen for the vice captain spot. I thought I was Akira’s closest friend and I thought we made a good team, but apparently, Akira doesn’t feel the same…he must like Ishida a lot more than he likes me….”
Kamio blushed and cried, “No, I like you more, Shinji! It’s just that I think that Ishida would make a better vice captain because he’s well-versed in the rules and is a really good doubles player. It’s not that I don’t think you are capable, I just…I just….”
Shinji laughed. “You’re starting to sound like me. Maybe that’s a good enough reason for me not to be Vice captain. The other players would be confused with a pair of rambling mumblers as their leaders.” He took Kamio’s hand, lacing his fingers with his friend’s. “I’m behind you 100%, Captain. You won’t be leading this team all alone. Wasn’t this team built on the efforts of all of us after all? Isn’t that what Fudomine is all about?”
Kamio smiled softly. “You’re right. We’ll go to Nationals….together.” He squeezed Shinji’s hand gently as they continued to walk.
Shinji knew Kamio was going to be a great captain. He hoped he would be able to assist him throughout the whole year as he did today. He wanted Kamio to be happy, and hoped he would always be able to find the right words to bring a smile to his friend’s face. Especially if he could walk home hand-in-hand with him everyday. He couldn’t find the words to confess to Kamio right now, but he had a feeling that when he did find them, it would be at an awkward time, and come out mangled and jumbled. Words were funny like that.
For now, he would settle for walking home with Kamio, holding hands in comfortable silence. No words were needed.
I want to go to sleep.....
